Salo Quin

Salo is the former CEO of Apple and now a member of the Big Men.


Salo Ă‘ Quin was born on November 29, 1987 in Mt. Doom, Peru. His parents were avid adventurers, but after exploring the world for years, he grew tired of it and wanted to settle down in a home for some time and work. Thus, he started working at a McDonalds. The pay wasn't great, but he worked up the ranks and got a job as a marketer for the company, paying incredibly. It was exactly what he wanted to do. He then left the company to go find better work and found a struggling Apple, down on their luck after their security system malfunctioned, killing Santa Claus II, mistaking him for a Sega Saturn owner. He joins as a marketer in 1999 and flips the company on its head and with his charisma, becomes the lead marketer for the company. He is widely attributed for the company's return to greatness. However, one night, while having a shower race with the Devil: if he won, he would win Satan's wealth, but if he lost, he would be given a disability. He lost, and became only able to say four words every day. He left Apple and continued to live his life back down in Tampa, meeting the Big Men and joining their friend group.


Salo has become a shell of the man he used to be. Taken over by greed, vanity, and power, he became the perfect man cursed with only speaking 4 words every day. Before his transformation, he would do anything for wealth, manipulation, blackmail, creating incredibly influential alternative rock band Weezer, anything really.


  • Salo owns a very pretty cat named H0ngh. H0ngh is a catnip addict.

  • Salo has incredible sums of money.


Full Name: Salo Quin

DOB: November 29th 1987

POB: Mt. Doom

Occupation: CEO of Apple (Formerly)

Affiliation: Big Men

Relationship Status:

Gender: Male

Height: 6'2"

Eye Color: Easy to get lost in